Thursday, March 17, 2011

Sadness....


It is not often I write non- uplifting posts, but my heart is hurting tonight after receiving sad news.

Let me start at the beginning... I recently was reunited with a lady who I was a Nanny for her children for many years. Children I loved like my own. Through the many moves my husband and I have been through we lost touch through the years, but they were never far from my thoughts and my heart. For the last few years I've tried to track them down to no avail.... finally I found them....I reconnected with Ms. Chris through email and quickly inquired about the children......

Angie and Nicky are fraternal twins and Libby is their older sister. When I was 12 years old I became their Nanny. They were infants at the time and Libby was 2 1/2. Their smiles and laughter and zest for life inspired my career in teaching. I loved caring for them and teaching them. I loved them like my own as I watched them grow through the years. I carried them in my heart always. Nicky how he loved to chase the chickens in the yard.... and how all three of them loved Kidsongs and The Sound of Music. We would watch it over and over again....How Angie played in a huge mud puddle and laughed and laughed. (I have pics of that day)
Of how they ran free with no cares.... no worries.....

Tonight my heart was shattered as I learned that all three of the children had a rare genetic disorder. Both Angie and Nicky have passed away and Libby is completely disabled. Unable to walk, talk or feed herself.
How can something like this happen to such beautiful, amazing, happy children? How does a Mom and Dad lose two of their children and also know their third is terminal? How unfair....how cruel....

I haven't been able to stop crying since I found out.... My memories of them have overcome me and I pray for Libby and her family.... the strength they are going to need to get through this difficult time.

This is why I write my blog to treasure the days with my children....to know that my choice to be home with them is the right one...to know none of us are promised another day. We have to treasure each and every day and never take it for granted. We need to count our blessings because there is always someone who is worse off and suffering more.

My heart, thoughts and prayers go out to this family....It is going to take time for me to heal as well.

These are also the moments I struggle with moving away from home and the if only's. If only I had more time with them... if only I knew... If only we hadn't moved a million times.... If only....If only.... I could do that all night. I know God has a reason for everything.... and I know they are in amazing hands....but it doesn't stop the hurt tonight.....The wanting to see them one more time....if only to have said goodbye.

In loving memory of Angie and Nicky.... forever in my heart......

Blessings,
Jill

19 comments:

Lindsay said...

Beautifully written post, oh so terribly sad it makes me to read it. Makes one remember how we must treasure every moment, because they can be over too fast. Much love and prayers!

Along A Widowed Road said...

Oh Jill,
I'm so very very sorry to hear this news! Yes this blogging is a reminder of remember what we all have and how to get through one day to the next.

God bless!
Viola

(P.S. - it's not gonna make a difference right now, but you one the gift card and starbucks mug).

Take care, Viola

Cherie said...

Jill that is so sad. I have never heard of anything like that before. My heart definately goes out to these parents - how do you deal with that?
Prayers to you to as you deal with this loss just when they had been found.
I am so sorry!

Julie Harward said...

That is so sad! Life...we never know what it holds do we. Hold yours close and just love. :D

Miranda said...

Beautiful post Jill. I'm sorry for your sadness and so sad for that family. :( Living in the moment and being grateful and "there" for the life we have is so very important.

Wendi said...

How heartbreaking! I am so sorry for lives lost too soon, parents broken hearts and for your sadness. Another reminder that we need to make the most of this moment.

Kerri said...

Oh Jill...I'm so sorry to hear your sad news. It's definately a reminder to the rest of us that life is short and to make the most of everyday we have here on Earth together. I will be praying for you.

Sheila said...

Jill,
I'm so very sorry. You and your families are in my prayers. Take care.

Mark said...

I now understand the title of your Blog.
I'll give my kids extras kisses today because of this post.
Your Friend, m.

Annie Jones said...

I'm so sorry for your loss. You're in my thoughts today.

Julie said...

I'm so sorry Jill. That had to be terrible to find out and to think of those poor parents. WOW!! You are in my thoughts and prayers.
Take care Jill, God Bless!!

claudia b said...

oh my goodness Jill, how incredibly sad. I am so sorry this is happening.

Lynn said...

That is just so heartbreaking, Im so sorry for their loss and yours, hugs!

Chocolate Covered Daydreams said...

Jill, this just breaks my heart. I know how much you have loved them. It resounds so loudly in your post. I'm so glad that you were able to touch their lives as much as they have touched theirs.

I'm so very sorry, Jill.

Olives and Pickles said...

Oh Jill,
I am so sad about this painful new. Losing a loved one is not easy. My prays be with their family and you. Be strong and keep them in your memory!
big hugs

Heather M said...

What beautiful words, They were so lucky to have known you! This is absolutley heart breaking and unimaginable, I will be praying for you and this sweet family!

Lisa B. said...

Jill I'm so sorry for your loss. You are in my thoughts and prayers as you heal.

His bondservant said...

Jill,
How terribly heartbreaking. It is so hard to understand why these things happen. The only way I can is to know there is a God in Heaven who cares and loved those precious children. Hoping He will bring comfort to your heart as well my friend.

~ Noelle said...

i am so sorry for the sadness in your heart...
i love your sweet and hearfelt post, it just shows that i am not the only one that stays home for this reason...
hugs to you during this time...
i am so sorry...